By: Osman Belayan

Dec 2, 2005

There is a Kurdish saying ‘Cats live seven lives’, I have to add to this that some politicians have seven faces.

The Former Iraqi Prime Minister Ayad Allawi and Former Iraqi President Ghazi Al Yawar, have now formed a coalition in the hope of gaining the majority of votes in the up coming elections. Well there is nothing wrong with this, but stating that the situation in Iraq is worse now then when it was when Saddam Hussein was in power is undoubtedly a loser’s statement.

Mr. Allawi and Mr. Al Yawar (the new Lawrence of Arabia) might be suffering from memory loss. I can assure them that we the People of Iraq do not have their weak minds and would like to remind them of what they did when they got their talons into power.

Let us begin with the notorious Mr Allawi. His love for Baghdad suddenly faded away and he felt homesick, having spent most of his ruling time outside Iraq posing for better shots taken by the foreign cameraman. He repeated the Ba’ath party’s strategies by pushing aside all active members of his party, and acting as a sole leader and decision maker, employing as many ex Ba’ath party members and thugs as he possibly could. His first mission was to send close members of his own family to make arms deals. This is arms deals we are talking about, not electricity, not water, not medicine but bullets, tanks, machine guns, explosives and bombs! He encouraged corruption, theft and misuse of Government properties. Lets not be hasty, Mr Allawi did help some Iraqis. He did protect 25 years of his close friends and acquaintances lives by giving them ownership of green zone properties, securing their salaries and allowing them to keep their governmental cars and personal guards. But what did Mr Allawi do to improve security, health services, and water and electricity shortages in Iraq? It would not be entirely fair to suggest he did absolutely nothing; he did give a couple of speeches!

Now let’s move on to see what our former president and current Vice President, Mr Al Yawar, does for the people of Iraq. He portrayed the importance of family values and unity by marrying (for the third time) a woman’s right activist who happened to be a Kurd, whilst other Iraqi women were digging the mass graves with their bare hands, trying to find the remains of their missing loved ones. He worked hard to show the world that equality lies between Arabs, Kurds, and others groups, by choosing to wear his Arabic ensemble. Perhaps it was an attempt to get the Brits on his side by impersonating ‘King Faisal’ and ‘Laurence or Arabia’. He managed to make time to improve his own standard of living by becoming a regular customer of ‘Harrods’, the most famous store in the world. But perhaps it was only his way of encouraging a free market! Mr Al Yawar got away with keeping the Presidential Palace along with its guards, vehicles and communication equipments for himself as a sign of ‘equality’. Unfortunately all this, along with 3 wives isn’t enough to make his evil face smile!

We must not forget the infamous Mr Al Jafari. He seems to be suffering from various diseases, possibly caught during his previous profession as a General practitioner (GP). He appears to be diagnosed with speech impediment, Mad Cow Disease, Bird Flu, SARS, Rabies, Schizophrenia and a phobia of females. His selfish ‘me me me’ attitude and attention seeking is not an illness however, that is purely his ‘charisma’.

Thank Goodness for Freedom of Speech!!